Coping with a cost-of-living crisis in an era where digital transactions happen at the touch of a button is reshaping how we handle our individual financial matters. From petitioning our employers for higher wages to haggling over expenses with acquaintances, we must face our unease around talking about cash. Yet these discussions come with significant emotional risks. Thus, what strategies should we adopt to master this evolving monetary decorum?
W Who typically covers the cost of a first date?
You may not want to disclose your credit score on your dating app bio, yet it’s important to establish your financial limits upfront.
According to Dr. Caroline West, a sex and relationship expert at the dating app Bumble, individuals have become increasingly open-minded regarding the costs associated with dating due to rising living expenses. "Worrying about the monetary aspects of dating—such as deciding who covers which expense or how to equally share costs—is perfectly natural. Such discussions won't fade away anytime soon; however, I recommend being clear with yourself concerning your preferences and boundaries, then ensure you convey these clearly."
Based on Bumble's statistics, an increasing number of individuals are opting for non-alcoholic " dry dating And inexpensive, low-pressure initial encounters. Nearly a third of individuals between 18 and 34 years old mention they'd propose activities such as walking together for their first date. Generation Z feels considerably at ease discussing finances quite early in relationships, with just about one out of every ten single people aged 18 to 34 in the UK stating they wouldn’t ever bring this topic up, contrasting sharply with a quarter of those aged 45 to 54 who feel otherwise.
Do you think we should get a shared bank account?
Operating a household solely on one income has become more challenging compared to previous times. Couples who are either romantically involved—whether they're married or living together—or those sharing expenses with non-romantic roommates or relatives must figure out a method to combine their finances equitably. Joint accounts may offer assistance here; these can be opened between pairs or even small groups, yet every holder gains identical access privileges regarding withdrawals and spending limits. Consequently, mutual confidence is essential. Additionally, this arrangement merges both parties' credit histories, implying that knowledge about each other's past monetary missteps could safeguard individual borrowing capabilities down the line.
What's the best way to divide the check among friends and relatives?
Can you afford to overlook who possessed a starter? and A dessert? Or if you're a non-drinking vegetarian, are you covering the cost of others' meat and wine? And who takes care of the unpleasant task of splitting up the joint grocery shopping during holidays?
Applications like Splitwise have grown more popular over time, tackling the difficult task of requesting payments from friends on your behalf. With these apps, you can log a shared expense, each person contributes according to their share, and then you can issue a request to "balance accounts."
Some people set up a shared fund beforehand and appoint someone as the treasurer. PayPal now offers a pooling option; you can establish a dedicated section within your account and send the link to pals and relatives through email or WhatsApp. Contributors use this link to add their contributions directly, and once the pooled amount hits the targeted sum, you can move it entirely to your PayPal wallet then to your bank account. In doing so, you effectively take on the role of "financial manager." This method works well for planning collective trips.
It’s one approach to dodge what Alex Holder, who wrote "Open Up: How to Talk About Money," refers to as “the mate wait,” which he defines as “an indefinite period during which someone waits to get repaid by their friend for joint costs.” Additionally, this concept ties into the idea of “mate weight”—the psychological strain associated with contemplating whether it’s worthwhile to bring up a recurring minor expense like a £4 coffee bill once more.
May I inquire about getting a discount?
Negotiating might seem terrifying to numerous Brits, yet it has become quite common. You're most likely to have success when dealing with subscription plans, home utility costs, large purchases that are discounted, insurance policies, vehicle roadside assistance, as well as individual enterprises and second-hand goods transactions.
Fortunately, those who prefer to be less outgoing have the option to negotiate through online chat. "It's increasingly considered okay to try this," states Molly Mileham-Chappell, a consumer expert from the site TopCashback. The second-hand selling application Vinted includes a 'make an offer' feature, and numerous products listed on eBay come with similar options as well.
If a reduced price isn't feasible, inquire if they offer additional incentives. They might include benefits such as complimentary delivery or enhancements.
Should it be a subscription-based service, you could express dissatisfaction with the renewal cost and mention potentially canceling your membership. For a single purchase, you may point out that you almost took advantage of an earlier discount offer for the item.
If lowering the price isn't possible, politely inquire if they offer any additional benefits. These could include complimentary shipping, product upgrades, or even providing a discount code. It might help to initiate this conversation towards the end of the business day or near the close of a store's sale period when employees might be more inclined to meet their targets and make concessions," explains Mileham-Chappell. "Also, always prepare an 'out' statement should you need time to consider; for example, say, 'I need to fetch my kids from school now, can we revisit this discussion later?'
Is it advisable for me to inquire about my coworkers' salaries?
A lot of employers prevent their staff from talking about wages, yet they possess no legitimate authority to enforce such restrictions. This practice is increasingly viewed negatively since it helps perpetuate disparities within the workforce. Therefore, feel free to discuss your pay, advises Daniel Zhao, chief economist at the professional network Glassdoor. Their platform includes sections with tips on handling these discussions effectively based on experiences shared by colleagues in similar situations.
"Salary openness is a crucial instrument for employees to guarantee they receive fair compensation, and it could help reduce wage disparities by uncovering discrepancies that would typically remain concealed," explains Zhao.
Nevertheless, he cautions individuals against taking workplace salary conversations too personally. "Your coworker might earn more due to additional duties or expertise that you're unaware of. One frequent error when requesting a raise is merely stating that someone else earns more as your sole justification. While pay transparency aids in setting benchmarks for what you should aim for, it isn't sufficient on its own to build a strong case."
What’s the best way to request a salary increase?
A number of Coach Bryony Williams' clients approach her with a specific focus on learning how to request a salary increase. As the founder of consulting firm The Glass Female, she has identified three common patterns among these individuals. "Some believe others receive higher compensation and consequently feel unappreciated in their current roles," she explains. "Others express dissatisfaction with their jobs and view increased wages as a solution to improve their overall happiness. Lastly, some face monetary pressures outside of work which motivate them to seek raises."
She mentions that she advises her clients to complete their homework regarding what amount they should reasonably request. Websites like Glassdoor and PayScale can be useful resources for this purpose.
Think about your background and where you're based—more importantly, be truthful with yourself. What exactly is fueling your ambition for increased earnings? Is it due to your current monetary situation, a specific objective, a debt you aim to settle, or does it align well with your position, expertise, and role as a leader? These factors matter, and only if the last one applies will your appeal likely succeed.
If you view money as a means of sustenance and detach from emotional attachment, it becomes simpler to maintain confidence. Frequently, we believe we require additional funds due to seeking acknowledgment or validation for our work. These desires can instead be fulfilled through self-affirmation, productive discussions with supervisors, or excellent reviews.
Should I leave a tip for my hairdresser or barista? Deliveroo driver?
In the UK, tipping has historically been viewed as a means to acknowledge exceptional service beyond routine expectations. However, during the pandemic, the American practice of including gratuities to supplement employee earnings gained traction, particularly among customers eager to assist lower-wage earners. When deciding whether to tip every individual involved in serving you, Adrian Harris, the creator of thankU Cashless Tipping—a mobile application enabling digital tipping—draws a distinction between appending 50 pence to the price of a coffee you picked up yourself at the counter versus handing over money directly to a colorist who spent several hours dyeing your hair. According to him, within the hairstyling industry, amounts like £10, £15, or even £20 are quite standard practices.
Caroline Larissey, CEO of the National Hair and Beauty Federation, notes that customary gratuities usually fall between 5% and 20% of the total price. "Certain customers leave tips for the assistants who shampoo their hair, others tip their stylists directly, and some choose to do both," she explains. "Your hairstylist knows that tipping is not mandatory and will remain unperturbed even if you decide against leaving one."
If you want to tip someone specific, inquire about their preference for receiving it—whether that be in cash or through an application, for instance.
Under Legislation enacted in the UK in 2024 , all funds remaining after covering service charges on bills must be allocated to the staff entirely; however, each location has the autonomy to determine the distribution method.
A direct cash tip ensures they can retain it personally," explains Kate Nichols, CEO of UKHospitality. "Adding a gratuity to the check or leaving one on the table would be advantageous for the entire staff, including those at the front desk as well as cooks and kitchen helpers who put in significant effort.
If tipping isn't within your budget, Larissey recommends leaving a positive review online as an alternative.
Is it advisable to loan funds to acquaintances or relatives?
A recently released study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology discovered that individuals who often loan funds to their friends commonly believe they have earned some form of repayment or favor. supervision of the funds and monitoring how the borrower utilizes them Concerningly, this perception lingers even once the debt has been settled. Keith Barber, who leads business development at the Family Building Society, advises striving to prevent this. This advice is especially pertinent if you find yourself frequently assisting your grown-up offspring onto the housing market or covering costs like daycare fees or infertility treatments, which have become increasingly typical today.
You really need to be precise regarding how the funds will be provided. However, this should ideally come up towards the conclusion of your discussion instead of right from the start. Begin with these questions: What are your children's objectives? What are their aspirations? And most importantly, what exactly do they wish to accomplish?
The concept revolves around genuinely hearing their reasons for needing funds instead of imposing your own ideas about what the money should be used for, which consequently dictates how much they believe they require.
If you're ready to assist someone, you must be prepared to part with some funds, provided you have enough to donate instead of lend.
"If you're ready to assist, you must also be prepared to part with that sum of money, provided you have the means to donate instead of lend." Additionally, should you be aiding with a down payment for your offspring’s home mortgage, many financial institutions will require documentation stating unequivocally that this amount is a gift without any conditions.
Lending and borrowing between friends and siblings is becoming more common, too. Barber has seen cases where one sibling is better placed financially and wanting to help another buy a property. In this situation, the same rules of not expecting oversight should apply.
Creating a detailed written loan agreement can prevent misunderstandings effectively. Specify the principal amount lent, the duration of the loan, the purpose of the funds, whether interest applies, and include any additional conditions you deem crucial, like consequences for delayed repayment. For smaller sums, an informal arrangement might suffice. However, consider consulting with a lawyer when dealing with substantial amounts, typically in the range of tens of thousands of dollars.
Tara Edwards, who works as a private client executive at Wellers Law Group, emphasizes that putting arrangements in writing is crucial when deciding on the distribution of your inheritance. Doing so can prevent potential disputes with legal consequences. Not comprehending another person's motives might lead to claims against your estate and cause emotional distress.
How How do I bring up the possibly delicate subject about the extent Should my partner be spending or saving money?
Joanna Harrison, a couples therapist and the author of "Five Arguments All Couples (Need To) Have" and "Why the Washing-Up Matters," notes that talking about financial worries can evoke significant feelings of shame. She explains, “One individual may wish to shield their partner from these discussions. The challenge then becomes how to approach this topic without feeling invasive or causing defensiveness.”
I believe a constructive approach isn’t necessarily asking for a document filled with all your financial information, but rather showing genuine interest in each other’s perspectives on money. For instance, consider where your partner or friend came from financially—what were their childhood experiences like when it comes to money? This could reveal if someone has an aversion to accumulating debt or if they prioritize having separate personal accounts.
She recommends initiating a discussion about transparency in your finances. "Would you be comfortable with us openly sharing our financial information?" frames the start of the conversation differently compared to saying, "I expect full openness regarding our finances."
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