As a parent, you're destined to mess up. It's inevitable.
Still, how you talk to your kids , and how you behave surrounding elements, can influence them confidence and mental strength — which significantly influence their future success, according to experts. Parents should also steer clear of certain errors when bringing up children who grow into happy, well-rounded individuals with the resilience to bounce back from failures. keep striving for success .
According to psychologists and other child-rearing specialists, here are five actions parents should aim to avoid if they wish to bring up successful and resilient children.
Don't coddle them
Spoiling your children makes them less likely To cultivate qualities such as resilience and persistence, which may assist them in not breaking down when faced with stress later in life. Resilient children usually possess the assurance to recover from setbacks and keep pursuing essential, measured risks. research shows.
There's no need to be overly strict with your children. Instead, set realistic standards and make sure they take responsibility for their actions, recommends best-selling author and parenting specialist Esther Wojcicki.
You can assist your kids in developing independence and self-driven motivation by entrusting them with specific daily tasks such as household duties or choosing their own extracurricular pursuits, suggests Wojcicki. wrote for Pawonation.comMake It in 2022.
"As you place greater trust in your children to handle tasks independently, they will become more empowered," she noted.
Don't punish their failures
Understanding how to bounce back from failure constructively is crucial. Criticizing your kid for erring might convey an incorrect lesson—that failing is shameful instead of a fleeting obstacle from which one can gain knowledge, as stated. psychotherapist Amy Morin .
Rather than doing everything for them, assist your children in understanding what lessons can be gleaned from their errors. This will help them gain the essential self-assurance needed to do better when faced with similar challenges again, as suggested by Morin. wrote for Make It Last year. You have the option to recount tales about your personal obstacles and the ways in which you triumphed over them, or examples of successful people who overcame early failures.
As stated by Morin, highly successful individuals achieved their objectives through a series of setbacks. Children who thrive as adults concentrate on understanding what led to their mistakes and consider ways to rectify them. These young people possess an adaptive mindset that enables them to transform failures into valuable lessons for personal development.
Steer clear of pessimism
Life is filled with continuous obstacles. It’s simple to feel overwhelmed. pessimistic sometimes However, keep in mind that "what we believe and how we think influences our children," notes educational psychologist and parenting expert Michele Borba. told Make It last year.
She mentioned that children who are optimistic tend to see hurdles as brief challenges that can be surmounted.
Too much pessimism can lead both children and adults to surrender quickly when faced with challenges, instead of striving to find a resolution. research shows Therefore, the next time you and your kids encounter a challenging obstacle, Borba suggests conveying an optimistic outlook.
"She mentioned, ‘It’s fine; we’ve got this.’ But if you continually repeat those phrases, you’re essentially letting your child overhear how you handle situations. Interestingly enough, kids often catch onto these messages and then use similar words when dealing with their own worries," she explained.
Avoid getting frustrated when your children have many inquiries.
Although it might be enticing to plead with your child to cease their never-ending stream of queries like “What’s that?” “What are you doing?” and “Why??”, it’s crucial to foster their sense of wonder. Children absorb more information and retain knowledge better when they remain engaged through curiosity-driven learning. research shows .
"The parents of highly successful individuals consistently prioritize acquiring new knowledge. They place great importance on fostering curiosity in their children and are diligent about addressing any queries they may have," notes bestselling author and researcher Dr. Kumar Mehta. wrote for Make It in 2021.
Don't overreact
It’s simple to get caught up in fretting over your children, yet a poor mark or an argument with a friend doesn’t spell the end of everything.
Given how observant and imitative your children tend to be regarding your emotions and actions, it’s crucial not to let anxiety overwhelm you, notes developmental psychologist Aliza Pressman. In essence, “there’s usually nothing urgent” happening in their everyday routines, as Pressman, the cofounder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, suggests. told Make It in January.
Widespread anxiety has the potential to adversely impact children's psychological well-being. psychologists say , which could result in issues such as depression that might drain a child's drive to achieve and diminish their courage to take essential risks.
Pressman suggested adopting a soothing mantra—such as reminding yourself “I’m not being pursued by a bear”—to help pause and realize that situations might be less dire than initially thought.
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