I often remark that much of my existence revolves around negotiations—considering your professional journey and personal experiences, you may find yourself relating to this sentiment. Throughout my career, I have engaged in numerous rounds of discussion. As the Global Managing Director of Strategic Partnerships at Christie’s, I spent more than twenty years sitting opposite counterparts during agreement talks. Additionally, I frequently take to podiums globally where I serve as a charity auctioneer, engaging in price discussions. up To boost fundraising efforts; and I established a talent agency where I handle negotiations for payment and terms on behalf of my clients. Adding to that, I am also a mother to three children.
Over time, I've heard numerous individuals unwittingly sabotage themselves. negotiations with a mistake as simple as using the wrong language, revealing their inexperience and lack of confidence in one sentence.
If you aim to consistently excel in your negotiations, these three expressions are best left unsaid:
1. Is it okay if I ask for . . . ?
A key aspect to keep in mind during negotiations is maintaining confidence right from the start. Numerous individuals inadvertently reveal their lack of assurance and poor bargaining abilities within the initial moments through phrases like "Is it alright if I request...?" By posing such questions, you cede control to the other party. In my role as an auctioneer, I never seek input from bidders regarding the subsequent bid amount; instead, I announce the figure and pause, allowing them to decide whether to proceed.
This does not imply that you must enter negotiations behaving aggressively or assertively if this isn't how you typically come off. Actually, it’s more effective to be yourself as you step into the space, ensuring the individual opposite you remains at ease and calm. Nonverbal cues can indicate whether you have command of the scenario. For those inclined toward excessive explanation or seeking approval, rehearse the discussion beforehand with acquaintances to gain confidence in remaining silent during crucial moments.
Remember, in a negotiation, confident silence will always be your greatest asset. The person who speaks and asks too much will usually come out with less than they wanted. Negotiation is about gaining the upper hand from the minute you sit down . . . and keeping the upper hand until the DocuSign has been completed.
2. Do you think my number is too high?
To establish the appropriate atmosphere during negotiations, it’s crucial that you seem confident throughout. Assuming you’ve completed your preparation, determine your "LMH" figures before the discussion begins. The 'L' stands for your lowest acceptable figure—the point at which you’d walk away from the deal. Next is the ‘M’, representing an intermediate amount where you'd feel satisfied with the outcome. Finally, the ‘H’ signifies your highest desired sum—a target that would make you very pleased upon reaching agreement over what you're offering.
When you think this through beforehand, you can go into negotiations feeling assured that you won't concede more than necessary or settle for less than deserved under pressure. Moreover, this preparation eliminates the need to seek approval from the individual opposite you since you're clear about your acceptable terms for the goods or services offered. Should they agree, great! Otherwise, you have predefined limits beyond which walking away becomes non-negotiable.
Additionally, recognize that an astute negotiator will enter discussions anticipating that a larger figure will initially set the stage for negotiations. Effective negotiators assume their counterpart is skilled at bargaining unless evidence suggests otherwise. Should you lack confidence as a negotiator, querying whether your proposed amount is excessive may reveal your doubts about its validity. Rather than posing questions, assert your price and allow them to respond prior to further discussion.
3. I'll simply await your response regarding the subsequent actions.
When I stand onstage at an auction watching two bidders battle it out to win the item, the minute I slam down the gavel and read out the paddle number, I recommend the winning bidder’s credit card number be charged as soon as possible. I learned a long time ago that buyer’s remorse is real, and things that are purchased in the heat of an auction battle might not be as appealing outside of a crowded room of people cheering on the bidders. I have seen the same thing happen in a negotiation.
A negotiation is not done until the contract is signed—so make sure to take the initiative to follow up immediately and ensure everything you discussed is ready to be finalized as soon as possible. The sooner you finalize the deal, the sooner you can get on to your next successful negotiation.
This post originally appeared at Pawonation.com
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