When your child scores well on an exam, you might say “Great work!” However, these seemingly simple words could have unintended consequences, according to a child psychologist. Becky Kennedy .
"If you don't include a more detailed compliment afterward, 'good job' might stop the conversation," Kennedy stated during the discussion. podcast episode From "The Tim Ferriss Show" episode that was released last month, she suggested asking follow-up questions to demonstrate that your appreciation is genuine. Additionally, emphasize the positive behaviors you wish for them to develop further.
The concept is aimed at assisting build their confidence And stop them from depending on outside approval, which can help them achieve greater success in the future, according to Kennedy, who holds a PhD in clinical psychology from Columbia University and presents the "Good Inside" parenting podcast.
"When these situations arise, we as parents aim to strengthen our child's self-assurance. This tends to be the primary objective we focus on," explained Kennedy.
To be explicit, Kennedy stated that saying “good job” isn’t inherently detrimental. However, when your school-age child shows off a research paper they’re pleased with, posing detailed inquiries and expressing sincere interest will probably bolster their self-assurance more effectively, regardless of whether or not these exact words are uttered, as she pointed out.
As a mother of three children, Kennedy confessed that initially the suggestion might come across as irritating. However, she pointed out that anything which facilitates your child in sharing more about themselves ultimately feels beneficial for the child.
Why particular compliments can assist children in growing more self-assured and achieving success
Targeted compliments assist children in building internal confidence. This indicates that individuals will trust in their capabilities and be more inclined to push themselves when striving toward their objectives, as developmental psychologist and writer Aliza Pressman noted for Pawonation.com Make It Last Year.
Similar to Kennedy, Pressman concurred that parents shouldn’t entirely remove the expression “good job” from their lexicon; however, it ought to consistently be accompanied by particular commendation.
"As we say 'Well done!', it must be genuine and detailed. Acknowledge children’s actual efforts, perseverance, ingenuity, self-reliance, and proficiency whenever you notice them," Pressman noted.
According to Kennedy, teaching children how to validate themselves independently, rather than seeking approval from others, ranks among the most crucial foundational abilities they must acquire to ultimately thrive as adults. She mentioned this perspective.
Kids who grow up relying on the outside world for validation can be "very empty and very fragile [and] very, very anxious," Kennedy said. "What's really helpful down the road is when you produce something — maybe it's art, maybe it's a [work] project — and being able to give yourself some estimation of that before others do is very helpful to your whole self-concept and protective of anxiety and depression."
Looking to enhance your AI abilities and boost productivity? Enroll in Pawonation.com's latest online course now. Ways to Utilize AI for Greater Success in Your Career . Skilled tutors will guide you through getting started, real-world applications, useful advice for crafting effective prompts, and common errors to steer clear of. Register today and apply the promo code EARLYBIRD to receive a 30% discount off the $67 fee (plus applicable taxes and fees). through February 11, 2025.
Plus, Sign up for Pawnation.com’s newsletter. To acquire advice and strategies for achieving success at your job, managing finances, and navigating everyday life.
Post a Comment